When it comes to caregiving, stress is almost always part of the job description.
“Being a caregiver is a 24-hour job. Stress comes with the territory,” says Diane Taveira, HopeHealth’s volunteer manager — a department that includes volunteer facilitators for caregiver support groups.
But if stress never lets up, it becomes a health risk. After months and months, normal caregiver stress can cross the line into burnout — a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. Burnout has serious health impacts, and takes much longer to bounce back from.
Fortunately, there’s a lot we can do to prevent it.
If you know someone who’s a caregiver, or if you’re a caregiver yourself, here’s how to spot the warning signs — and what to do next.
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10 signs of caregiver burnout
“Burnout doesn’t happen overnight,” says Diane. “It builds gradually.”
So if you can notice and address it early, you may be able to avoid it altogether.
Here are signs, adapted from the Alzheimer’s Association, that a caregiver may be on the slippery slope to burnout.
- Struggling to accept a loved one’s diagnosis and its impact. “Mom’s just having a bad week — it’s not that serious.”
- Feeling frustrated or even angry at a loved one for what they can no longer do. “Why won’t he just listen to me?”
- Withdrawing from social connections and activities that once brought joy. “It’s easier to just stay home.”
- Feeling hopeless about the future and dreading what’s ahead. “What happens when I can’t handle this alone?”
- Feeling depressed and emotionally numb. “I just go through the motions now.”
- Being so exhausted that even daily tasks feel overwhelming. “I don’t have the energy to cook or clean anymore.”
- Struggling to sleep because of nonstop worries. “My mind won’t shut off, no matter how tired I am.”
- Becoming irritable and reacting in ways you don’t recognize. “Everything just annoys me now.”
- Having trouble focusing, even on routine tasks. “I keep losing track of what I’m doing.”
- Health issues that won’t go away, or keep coming back. “I’ve had this headache for weeks.”
“When you see signs of caregiver burnout, take it seriously,” says Diane. “If you notice that a caregiver in your life is struggling, offer them extra support. If you’re the one experiencing these signs, it’s time to ask for help.”
What to do
If you’re a caregiver:
- Start with these strategies to stop burnout. (See the section titled “When you’re at a breaking point, B.U.R.N. I.T.”)
- Then try this list of 10 Tips for Self-Care for Caregivers.
If you’re not a caregiver, but want to support someone who is:
- Make a list of ways you can help the caregiver in your life. For example: grocery shopping, bringing over dinner once a week, spending a couple hours with their loved one to give them a break. “Think about how you might help someone with a new baby. Much of the same advice applies,” says Diane.
- Small gestures matter. Keep this in mind when you’re brainstorming your list. “Even just phoning your friend up every few days to check in or laugh — that counts,” says Diane. “Laughter can be the best medicine.”
- Offer specific types of help. Often, caregivers are so overwhelmed that a general offer of “Let me know if I can do anything” is too much to think about.
- Share your ideas with the caregiver in your life. Explain your sincere desire to support them somehow. Ask them to pick one or two ideas from your list to try. Be prepared for some resistance: “Learning to say ‘yes’ when someone offers to help is a muscle many caregivers need to build,” says Diane.
- For more ideas, follow our “Caring for the caregiver” blog series. Subscribe to the HopeHealth blog so you don’t miss upcoming resources.
Most of all, remember that any bit of support helps. When it comes to preventing burnout, even a quick break can make a surprisingly big difference.
“If caregivers take some time for themselves, they’ll come back stronger,” says Diane.