Sometimes, words like mindfulness and meditation seem hard to relate to — as if they only apply to people who do yoga or love to burn incense.
But really, these practices are about something we all need help with: not letting our thoughts and worries run away with us.
If you’re a caregiver, that can be invaluable.
“You can learn how to release from difficult days and events, and bring yourself back into a present mindset,” says Olivia Dutra, who facilitates HopeHealth’s Mindfulness Meditation for Caregivers group.
Here are tips.
> Join us! Sign up for Mindfulness Meditation for Caregivers
Everyday mindfulness: Simple tricks to try on your own
Caregiving can be, in a word, overwhelming. “You’re always thinking about that person you’re caregiving for, worrying about them, trying to plan,” says Olivia. “It’s 24 hours a day.”
Mindfulness can help stop the spiral.
How?
“Think of it as ‘hooking in’ and ‘unhooking,’” says Olivia. “Hooking in is when we become enveloped in an experience and lose the power to choose how we respond. That happens a lot. Unhooking is the act of releasing from the thought or experience and returning to the present moment.”
Unhooking takes practice. Try this:
- Slow down. Literally. Washing the dishes. Folding laundry. Holding your loved one’s hand. Whatever you’re doing, slow down your actions and hone in on your five senses.
- Pause to name your emotions. Throughout the day, stop to notice and name which emotion you’re feeling. (Need inspiration? Search “emotion wheel” online.) “In the course of a day we have thousands of thoughts and emotions. It’s hard to be in the midst of all that at once,” says Olivia. “If we can acknowledge where we are in the moment, it’s comforting.”
- Shrink your idea of “now.” “We often think: Yesterday’s the past, today is the present, tomorrow is the future. Instead, let’s try to get away from today being the present. Get it down to this breath is the present,” says Olivia. Everything will seem a bit more manageable.
- When a worry arises, stop to ask: “Is this something I have control over?” Maybe the answer is yes, and it’s worth your mental energy. Then again, maybe the answer is no. Use the techniques above to gently “unhook” your brain from it.
At first, some of these techniques may feel next to impossible. With repetition, though, your brain will get the hang of zooming out from its hamster wheel of thoughts, and zooming in on the present moment.
“Mindfulness is a muscle. It’s like strength training: The more you practice it, the stronger it gets,” says Olivia.
> Read: B.U.R.N. I.T.: Simple reminders to stop caregiver burnout
Guided mindfulness, led by a pro: Join our Mindfulness Meditation for Caregivers group
Just like signing up for an art class or tennis lessons, many people find that a mindfulness meditation group helps them learn and absorb skills they wouldn’t have discovered on their own.
That’s what happens at HopeHealth’s mindfulness-themed support group, led by Olivia.
The group meets virtually, twice a month, for one hour. For the first 30 minutes, they simply talk and check in on each other, similar to any other support group. For the last 30 minutes, Olivia invites everyone to turn off their microphones and cameras, then leads a group meditation.
Because different types of meditation resonate in different ways, she mixes up her approach.
For example:
- Mantra meditation: Uses a specific word or sound, aka mantra, to soothe and focus your mind
- Breath work: Uses your breath to anchor you in the present moment
- Body scan: Uses physical sensations to release tension and quiet your mind
- Visualizations and guided imagery: Uses your imagination to release worries, conjure up a comforting place, and more
Whatever the style, most meditations come down to some version of this: Every time your mind drifts, notice the thought you’re having. Then, without judgment, bring your mind back to the focus of your meditation — whether it’s a word, your breath or something else.
“If you have to do it 100 times, that’s fine. It’s about building awareness when we hook into a thought, then allowing ourselves to unhook,” says Olivia.
> Read: From a caregiver: 10 tips for self-care
Can mindfulness meditation really help with the stress of caregiving?
Research shows that, for anyone, mindfulness has both short- and long-term rewards, including a decrease in anxiety and depression.
For caregivers, a group setting like HopeHealth’s Mindfulness Meditation for Caregivers has additional value. For starters, it connects them with a community that truly understands what they’re going through. And amid the constant demands of caregiving, it helps them regularly take a few minutes for themselves. “Some people come to the group just to sit and take a breath,” Olivia says.
Over time, as they build that mindfulness “muscle,” many caregivers notice they’re better able to navigate tough days. “I love hearing feedback from the group that it’s making a difference,” says Olivia.
This is true even for caregivers who’ve never meditated, or assumed it wasn’t for them.
Upon joining the Mindfulness Meditation group, one caregiver told Olivia she was skeptical that it could help: She’d tried meditation once before, and thought, “Nope, not for me.” She was only there because a friend talked her into it.
She’s now a regular.
“At a recent meeting, we did a body scan. When we finished, this caregiver shared how she really felt the tension leaving her body,” Olivia recalls. “She said she felt lighter.”